#23 – Long Days

Yeah it’s been a long day. It didn’t have much benefit, and I don’t feel too good about it. But do you know what? There is a new south park episode tonight so it cancels everything out. I can’t wait!

Yesterday after classes I had to sit around and wait for Patient Centered Medicine, the class where we actually learn how to do our doctoring. So after needlessly wasting a few hours, I meet up with Tadkins. She’s the girl that’s the head of our group. She always wears these shirts that are too lowcut and pushes her breasts up…damnit stop tempting me you succubus. Dman couldn’t make it to the group meeting…and our fourth is AKO. AKO is a a fresh off the boat black girl from Nigeria. She’s cool and all…but boy is she slow. She asks these stupid questions…”what do the numbers on that gage mean?” Well honey, we need numbers to measure your blood pressure.

So we are all learning how to feel the thyroid gland, which is right at the base of your neck. I am the “tester” person so everyone is feeling my thyroid. It’s AKO’s turn and she puts her bony skinny long fingers on my neck and for some reason, I just knew something bad is about to happen. She presses back as hard as she can and chokes and gags me. That bitch….Anyways, I learned that if you stimulate both the carotid arteries at the same time, you could make someone pass out. WARNING *** DO NOT TRY AT HOME ***

Afterwards, I went home and ate waffles at home since I’m too busy/lazy to go grocery shopping.

Today, we had the foot dissection. Needless to say, I rocked it. Makes me want to be an ortopaedic surgeon…but without the hard work and effort. Dr. P – the plastic surgeon that always jokes around with our all-male group – came over to us. First thing he says is “Brownmedstudent, DO YOU LIKE SUCKING TOES?” Afterwards he tells us that we can’t trust fat people because they dont have self control. Let me tell you something about Dr. P. The reason he doesn’t practice medicine anymore is because he can’t…he’s been sued so many times that all he can practically do is teach. And he doesn’t know what the fuck he is doing half the time. In fact, he goes to one table, asks them what structures are to “test” them. With his new found information, he goes over to the next table and tries to show off how smart he is. What a smart bastard. Today, I half-assedly asked him what one of the foot muscles was. He said “I don’t know, rip that bitch out!” So I did. I love that guy. I want to be a doctor like him…without the lawsuits.

Afterwards, lunch with Davy and Vanilla Bear. Then, I sat in the library for about 6 hours and to be honest with you, didn’t do jack shit. Damnit, I am just not focusing. I need to get on the ball or something. But all that doesn’t matter now. The highlight of my week….South Park. Starts. In. A. Couple. Of. Minutes. BANZAI!