#33 – Thanksgiving

Posted in Uncategorized on November 25, 2008 by brownmedstudent

Thanksgiving is almost here and I’ll be on my way to visit the family tomorrow. I look forward to seeing them for the first time since this hell has begun. I’ve never really appreciated the holiday or even felt like my parents’ house was home but this time their house feels like a sanctuary – my actual home.

I want everyone to have a great break and really spare a few moments to be grateful for all we have in our lives. Enjoy the break peeps. We deserve it.


#32 – The New Block

Posted in Uncategorized on November 21, 2008 by brownmedstudent

So this new block is all about the Biochemistry and Genetics. Biochem and Genetics. Genetics and Biochem. Every day…until the end of February. Biochem and Genetics. Someone please end the pain.

It’s not even been a week since the new classes started and I can already tell that this is going to be a hell. Sure genetics isn’t THAT bad…and the teachers are actually nice. But this year they switched the grading scale to a curve…a curve where an 88 is a C….Double U Tee Eff. That’s bullshit.

Biochemistry is a completely different story. The class is supposedly the HARDEST class we have in our medical school education. And the teachers suck. BUT the curve has been adjusted to make it easier to get a “B”…atleast that’s what my friend who took stats told me. Oh…and the faculty…Dr. T is the main teacher of the class. His tests (test 2 & 3) have averages in the 50s…fun times. However, he’s supposedly a great lecturer and someone I can see myself paying attention to.

Then there’s Dr. Wheelchair. Oh Dr. Wheelchair….He’s something else. No I’m not beneath the cripple jokes. This motherfucker deserves them. He reminds me of Stephen Hawking. Every day since class has started he’s yelled at our class for being “loud” and “rude” to the other students. Today he yelled at our class for a solid 10 minutes. He even got OUT of his wheelchair to do this. What the hell?

Before I continue, Let me introduce another character to this play I call Medical School – Steve-O. Steve-O wants to be a doctor for $$$. That’s it. He wants to see as few patients as possible. He’s a smartass and doesn’t let anyone shit on his parade. He’s what I would be if I had a slightly bigger set of testicles.

Yesterday, Dr. Wheelchair was talking about evolution and how if we didn’t have so and so protein in our body, a sabertooth tiger would have eaten us. Steve-O says in a whisper, “Yeah, but it would have gotten you first.” The back row erupted in silent laughter. It was glorious. Absolutely wonderful. Thank you Steve-O. You are a hero to us non-bleeding hearts everywhere.

Oh yes, I had the physical exam today. It actually went great. I had a dude that was NOT a hippy. He was applying to PA school and when I first entered and asked his name, it was the name of my old college roommate I’ve known for 12+ years. I instantly lost any and all apprehension. I had an hour to complete the exam and had previously done it with 20 minutes left, but I shot the shit so much with this guy that I almost ran out of time for the exam. VB also completed his exam with a great score.

Life is good for now. I go back to New York for Thanksgiving and there’s no exams until then. I haven’t studied at all for anything new but I’ll try to do it tomorrow. This whole “life is good” thing wont last long. But I’m going to enjoy every second of it. Check this out. I have class tomorrow AND I’m going out to watch a movie at 10 pm. Man I’m such a badass risktaker. Peace

#31.5 – Physical Exam woes

Posted in Uncategorized on November 15, 2008 by brownmedstudent

Ahh the physical exam. A cornerstone of the physician’s diagnostic toolbox, a good physical exam can reveal the smallest of nerve damages to multitudes of over variances. What an amazing weapon that we as future physicians are given early in our careers. We have to learn this exam with about 250 points…all by heart. Now I’ve taken a physical here and there, but no doctor has ever checked 250 things on my body. I’m lucky with a 20 minute visit. But eh, we have an hour to do a physical exam on a standardized patient – aka actor.

So yesterday I got to practice on these SPs…and you can tell they are all actors. They are all hippies and smell like it too. Pretty disgusting actually. And they all try to act smarter than what they are and you can tell.

SP 1: “Oh I don’t want that student to touch me without washing his hands. I might get C. difficile.”

SP 2: “What’s C. Difficile?”

SP 1: “Oh…um…uh…it’s one of those superbugs like AIDS”

SP 2: “Yeah I knew that.”

You can now understand my frustration with these hippies. In addition they think they know more about the physical exam than the physician trying to teach us the exam. A little knowledge in a dangerous thing.

Let me rewind to my exam week. Anatomy final went good and so did Histo. I got what I had hoped to get and am extremely grateful for it. Looks like I get to keep my scholarship!

So let me summarize this whole last week for you. I took a personality test at the beginning of the week and found out I’m an “ISTJ.” I forgot what those stood for, but pretty much I’m a cold hearted mother fuckin badass out of hell. Or so I’ve interpreted on my own. Other than that we’ve ran through the whole physical exam and learned about interviewing patients.

We interviewed our first patient (another SP) as a group. The scenario is that she is a new patient to the Doctor’s office having just undergone a divorce. So the SP obviously has ulcers and has an underlying depression problem. She also keeps asking for her percocets. Being from a drug abusing part of the world, I know exactly what this means. Unfortunately, one girl “likes to see the good in people” and wants to prescribe her percocets right away. Dumbass. What can I say…I’m a cold hearted ISTJ.

Vanilla Bear’s patient told him that she had diarrhea. He laughed. Glorious.

Also, we got to play on the laproscopic surgery simulators that our school has. I surprisingly did great at it and even got complimented on by the trainer. It really made me feel good and I know it’s going to sound super cheesy and all…but it kind of re-ignited that spark inside me to WANT to do medicine. You know…the spark that’s been muffled and spat on by the onslaught of studying we have to do. That one. Also, the Riddler has been visiting that place ever since school started because she wants to be a neurosurgeon. God help us if she does become one.

Riddler: “Can I use gloves during my Physical Exam?”

Dr. Pudy: “No, use your hands but wash them.”

Riddler: “But I always use gloves.”

Dr. Pudy: “No.”

I’ve actually gotten to spend a lot of time with my buddies at the Cottage. I really feel better but know that on Monday, Biochemistry and Genetics starts… Biochemistry is supposed to be the hardest class we have. Oh well. Atleast I think I’ve figured out how to study this time as opposed to anatomy. I need to buy Dr. B a card thanking her for all her help. Here’s a Dr. Pudy quote.

Dr. Pudy: “Have you ever smelled a mothball?”

Us: “Yeah…?”

Dr. Pudy: “How’d you get the legs off?”

Us: “lol”

I imagine the Riddler saying “Inappropriate Dr. Pudy”

Faithful readers – Thank you for your patience. I actually considered quiting doing this because when I sit around thinking about blogging…it feels like work. But when I sit down in front of the TV and start typing my thoughts… I like it a lot. Try to keep my ass in gear about blogging please.

#31 – The Physical Exam

Posted in Uncategorized on November 15, 2008 by brownmedstudent

All this week we’ve been learning how to give a physical exam. There’s too much shit to remember…more on that tomorrow.


#30 – So…

Posted in Uncategorized on November 8, 2008 by brownmedstudent

That’s what it feels like to wake up almost care free. That’s what it feels like to wake up and go through the morning routine of “is this really worth it?” That’s what it’s like to not hit the snooze button 17 times for that extra five minutes. That’s what it’s like to wake up surrounded by laughing friends and to let out a jolly belch with not a second thought.

My dear reader,
These past few weeks have been extremely rough on my feeble mind and body. My last real update was about a week and a half ago where I was up, late at night with Herm. Oh Herm…how I already miss thee. It seems the closer I got to never having to see or touch her again, the more I appreciated the marvelous gift these cadavers are. We got Herm’s cause of death in our last week of Gross Anatomy – COPD. I also discovered that she was from a city 20 minutes from my home town. That was kind of weird but oh well. I thought about all the fun/sad times with Herm.

“Whoa…Herm’s a girl!”

“Damnit Herm you have too much fat”

“Guess I’ll be the one to stick my finger in her nether-regions”

I’ll miss you Herm. Even though I may never know who you really were, you have become an intimate part of me in this gruesome journey through medical school. In the future when I touch my patients, I’ll know what their muscles and bones and structure really feel like because I’ve had the privilege of Herm. Oftentimes Herm was the only person I had touched all day. Now how weird is that. But to touch another Human Being, dead or alive is a necessity for our race.

Thank you Herm. And thank you to all those who would/have donated their body to science.

#29 – Ladies and Gentlemen…

Posted in Uncategorized on November 4, 2008 by brownmedstudent

I’m done with gross anatomy. However I have this histology bug over my shoulder. I will give u guys a super good update Friday…God willing. I miss Herm already. Thank you “ACE” for trying to get my ass in gear.

#28 – Dead Bodies on a Saturday Night? Count me in!

Posted in Uncategorized on October 26, 2008 by brownmedstudent

The last few hours of my life have been spent with about a dozen or so cadavers. The worse part? It’s a Saturday night and still 9 days away from my exam. The worst part is I feel pretty far behind. Today was the first day since the last anatomy quiz that I feel like I actually accomplished something. Pretty weak eh? In the medical school universe, that shit just doesn’t fly. I could have probably been out of lab an extra hour early too if Mr. Antisocial hadnt been chatting up Dman and Me. Apparently he has opened up a little. A little too much. He starts on a topic and just keeps talking in his dull monotone voice and I just want to shoot him and shut him up.

Anyways, this time around I’ve been keeping up with Histology. The histo exam this time around should be a lot easier, but will be following my anatomy final so who knows if I will be too dazed. Hopefully not!

Let’s see…this last week in lab the most interesting thing I’ve done is get at the orbit of the eye. There are so many small muscles and nerves just above your eyeball. My amazement is only offset by my “damnit I gotta learn ALL this shit” attitude. Oh, and dont call it and eyeball…call it the “eye.” Eyeball…corpse…”a-chill-ies tendon” whatever!

Last week I got to take my buddy Broccoli to Carlos Mencia stand up. Broccoli got into medical school that day, so I surprised him with a badass gift. I dare his parents to beat that…watch them buy him a car now. The show was incredibly incredibly incredibly good. But you know my life is being pathetic when I think “Damn this is late. I have class tomorrow. I could stay an extra 20 minutes and get a picture with him or go home and sleep for tomorrow.” For those of you who don’t like his show, his standup is totally different. It’s actually good.

Lately I’ve had some pre-meds ask me about medical school. I always tell them it sucks and not to do it….and I haven’t even gotten to the bad part. In fact, I’m supposedly at the easy part. I’d rather be doing stuff than studying. I have this hatred of taking my work home with me. Once I leave campus I want to forget the medical world. But that just isn’t possible until maybe my 3rd year. This is one of the reasons I covet emergency medicine so much.

I have a new nickname for the shuttle bus I ride from the parking lot to the hospital. Me and my PT buddy, Rabbit, have officially dubbed it the hearse. God it feels like a hearse every morning on the way to class, but on the way home it feels like I’m riding a rainbow. A straight rainbow ofcourse.

I’ve also thought about the benefits of having a wife during medical school. At first it may be hard having to deny her the time that she deserves, but it would be so incredibly nice to have someone there to help you through this hell. Just random thoughts running through my head. No I’m not getting married…

I miss undergrad more and more every day. Hardly a day goes by where I don’t wish I were back in there. I’ve also been thinking about my identity. The more medical school passes by, the more I think I will stop being the individual Brownmedstudent and be Doctor. This profession really encompasses your life. Which sucks donkey dick.